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A Rockmelon and a Knife

On a daily basis we take our lives for granted. Then life provides its wake-up call and challenges us to places and moments we never ever dreamed of.  We learn to cope, to live, and to open our hearts with an inner strength we never knew we had.​    
(NB:  Views and opinions expressed in this Blog are entirely my own, based on my personal experiences with my mum's dementia journey.)

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Support, Understand, and Support some More

29/5/2015

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It’s hard for people who have not been touched by Alzheimer’s to understand what it’s like.  They have no concept of how difficult it is for the person with the disease and the people who care for them.  Like me, a daughter watching her mum deteriorate piece by piece.  You mourn for the person every day as their capacity diminishes.  It’s cruel, it’s heartbreaking and very sad, and it can go on for years.

People living with Alzheimer’s need lots of love, support and understanding – particularly from family and friends – and it matters not what stage of the disease they are in. 

“He or She doesn’t remember me” is no excuse to abandon the person.

Furthermore, as dementia education and awareness continues within the health system and to the general public, people from all walks of life will better understand the challenges and consequences the disease brings. 

Eventually I hope that the ignorance and perhaps fear (perceived or otherwise) of how to deal with dementia will diminish, and each person is treated with understanding, respect and dignity, wherever they are.

In the current edition of NeuRA magazine there is a story about a 46 year old woman with the early symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease.  She says “I want people to understand how we feel.  People with Alzheimer’s need support because we are trying our best.  Trust me, we get frustrated enough with ourselves to please don’t get upset with us when we don’t understand.  We are a bit slow.”

To read the whole story go to http://neura.edu.au/news-events/neura-magazine and it’s the winter 2015 edition.

When you help someone with Alzheimer’s smile, it brightens their day as well as yours.  There is a sense of wellbeing that is difficult to describe.  You have to experience it, even if only for a fleeting moment.

Support, understand, be patient and support some more.

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Using Alzheimer’s as your Excuse to NOT see Mum this Mother’s Day?

9/5/2015

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Alzheimer’s is the exact reason why you SHOULD be seeing your mum on Mother’s Day.
  

“She has dementia, she doesn’t remember, she doesn’t understand, it’s just another day for her.  She doesn’t even know what day it is and won’t remember a thing after we’re gone.  It’s not going to make any difference to her.” 
  
The excuses go on and on, don’t they?
  
Just this once, think about the woman who is your mother instead of making it all about you. 
 
Think of what you can do for her.  Think about creating special moments just for her and live them with her. 
 
Love her, care for her, respect her.
 
Create precious moments of happiness for her. 
 
Give her your time and your love.  That is the best gift for any mother.  You can’t buy gifts like this anywhere.  They are made and created from one human being to another.
 
In spite of Alzheimer’s, your mum can still see, hear, think her own thoughts, and most of all, she can FEEL. 
 
Her emotions are as real as they always were. 
  
She can smile and she can cry and she can feel every emotion in-between. 
 
She is still ALIVE.
 

She did not seek or want this cruel disease.  Nor does she deserve to have her life taken away from her piece by piece by this incurable disease.  She wanted to live her life and grow old as a mother, grandmother, wife, sister, aunt, and friend. 
 
Don’t deny your mother the gift of you. 
 
She still needs her family and friends, as well as love, support and companionship.  Help her live with the disease on her terms.  Give her meaningful moments and live with her in those moments, however brief those moments may be.
 
Don’t abandon her.  Leaving her alone to cope with dementia is cruel, it is selfish, and it is a betrayal of love. 
 
She may not be the mother you once knew, but the essence of who she really is still lies within.  It’s up to you to find it. 
 
Don’t allow this insidious disease to dictate your relationship with your mother.
 
Don’t allow this insidious disease to deny wonderfully unique memories to the both of you.
 

No matter what stage of the disease your mum is in, it’s sad and heartbreaking to deal with.  It’s a very difficult time.  All the more reason to give her your time and your love on this day and always.
 
Happy Mother’s Day to all Mums.   

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    I'm a daughter and a carer.

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